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Commit | Line | Data |
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07d8db2b RBR |
1 | const internals ={ |
2 | ||
3 | businesses: [ | |
4 | 'butcher shops', | |
5 | 'plant shops', | |
6 | 'balloon factories', | |
7 | 'pet hotels', | |
8 | 'sex shops', | |
9 | 'clothes incineration facilities', | |
10 | 'city dumps', | |
11 | 'glass factories', | |
12 | 'roads', | |
13 | 'windfarm analysis consultancies', | |
14 | 'peanut depots', | |
15 | 'glue factories', | |
16 | 'bürgeramts', | |
17 | 'chiropractors', | |
18 | 'gong bath facilities', | |
19 | 'wrestling rings', | |
20 | 'cat cafés', | |
21 | 'paint your own pottery centers', | |
22 | 'dungeons', | |
23 | 'television sets', | |
24 | 'nasa offices', | |
25 | 'toilet factories', | |
26 | 'condom inspection facilities', | |
27 | 'high school newspapers', | |
28 | 'dog spas', | |
29 | 'mink breeding centers', | |
30 | 'ngos', | |
31 | 'yoga cults', | |
32 | 'mi6 safehouses', | |
33 | 'döner shops', | |
34 | 'hospitals' | |
35 | ], | |
36 | ||
37 | restrictions: [ | |
38 | 'are required to work from home', | |
39 | 'require mandatory testing', | |
40 | 'must remain closed', | |
41 | 'must remain open', | |
42 | 'must offer 50% covid discounts', | |
43 | 'must become vaccination centers', | |
44 | 'must pay staff 3x on thursdays', | |
45 | 'can only meet with one other household', | |
46 | 'must share facilities', | |
47 | 'are exempt from mask rules', | |
48 | ], | |
49 | ||
50 | join(array) { | |
51 | ||
52 | const firstPart = array.slice(0, -1).join(', ') | |
53 | const lastPart = array.slice(-1) | |
54 | ||
55 | const conjunction = array.length <= 1 ? '' : ', and ' | |
56 | ||
57 | return [firstPart, lastPart].join(conjunction) | |
58 | } | |
59 | }; | |
60 | ||
61 | module.exports = () => { | |
62 | ||
63 | const businesses = internals.businesses | |
64 | .filter(() => true) | |
65 | .sort(() => Math.random() - 0.5) | |
66 | .slice(0, Math.floor(Math.random() * 3) + 1) | |
67 | const restriction = internals.restrictions[Math.floor(Math.random() * internals.restrictions.length)]; | |
68 | const text = `${internals.join(businesses)} ${restriction}` | |
69 | ||
70 | return { | |
71 | emoji: '🏢', | |
72 | text: text.charAt(0).toUpperCase() + text.slice(1) | |
73 | }; | |
74 | } |